Seyar Blajar

I have no idea if that is spelt right but it means I'm learning. Of course I don't pronouce it right either but I am finding it a useful phrase :)

what a whirlwind the last couple of days has been!

Since my last entry I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. The personal development that I am currently undergoing is incredible. It is a lot more difficult then I imagined, the development not so much the travelling. Quite frankly I still don't really feel like I have done any real travelling yet. Fingers crossed that tomorrow that changes.

Here's what I have been up to...

 After posting last Sunday, on Monday evening, I got hit hard by a case of the homesick blues. I was questioning if I had made the right decision to come and wondered what I was doing here. It was raining really hard and was dark and dreary and easy to start spinning my wheels. I was feeling extremely frustrated that we were not being given the freedom to explore on our own and weren't really being shown around by Vicky's uncle either. Granted he did take us up a mountain and we did have fun, but the next day he half heartedly took us to see the Kraton, which is the King's palace, he still lives there (more on that in a minute), but didn't walk around with us or translate anything for us and was on his cell phone the whole time and then dropped us off at the mall.

Also at one point at her Uncle's that night I went to socialize with the family and they asked if I was hungry (all they do here is eat! lol) and brought me back to the kitchen and sat me down and then left me all alone. I maybe cried a little bit. Maybe, I admit nothing. I felt a tich rejected and very lonely (Vicky was napping). Although in retrospect it is most likely a cultral practice to offer food and they were being polite and really had no idea what I needed or what I was wanting from them. Unfortunately it just served to heighten my loneliness.

Also Vicky and I have been going through some growing pains and I think that evening she was feeling the same way I was and so I didn't really have her for support. We both needed time apart and time to process what was going on for ourselves.

So I had a good cry and sent off a bunch of emails and "chatted" with my support networks, and journalled. And was able to pull myself out of my funk. It was pretty empowering. I made a back up plan for myself incase things didn't improve, which did not involve running away into the night, I promise ;) or even coming home, although Aunt Linda I have to tell you I was close. Again I will admit nothing but I was maybe half hoping to get hit by lightening (as it was storming) so as to have a reason to come home...admitting nothing.

I had been feeling trapped, let down and really disapointed but decided to make a different choice. I made a plan, which will all know by now I really enjoy having and following (yes universe I hear you, I need to relax - I'm just not ready yet okay?) which made me feel better and through "chatting" and journalling was able to really process my emotions and take stock of what is really important. If something did happen and I had to go home I would have been infinately more disapointed then I was feeling in that moment. Truth be told, I was having myself I very large pity party.

Yes my goal in coming is to build my own story and experiences, but I realized that I have the power to do that everyday. It doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing, I have control over the way I perceive and experience that moment. (I might be crying as I am writing this, it's so empowering to actually GET this, you know? But you all know, I cry all the time lol). (Actually I am crying. I did cry when I was left in the kitchen all alone and I did for a fraction of a moment hope to get hit by lightening...so there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it). (Back to our regularly scheduled program). I think throughout I have rolled with the cultural differences fairly well, or atleast adequately. I am willing to try new foods, the toilets I'm so far not stoked on but it's a toilet, not understanding the language is hard but I'm dealing. I had such a hard time getting over the fact that this trip wasn't meeting up to my expectations. I just couldn't get my head around it. I had put this trip up on a pedastal and man does that fall hurt. But I think I am over it now.

After journalling and emailing I went and "accidentally" woke up Vicky, oops? And we had some great girl talk and fell back into rhythm. We then planned our next couple of days out and I went to bed in a much better space. It's almost a tich bi-polar...hmmm lol.

The next morning (tuesday) I woke up to Vicky fervently whispering to her mother on the house phone about her Uncle and how frustrated we were. Turns out he was listening on the portable phone. Big fight. It was awesome. lol. So once again plans were SMASHED. But surprisingly I didn't even cry. I decided, well I still have my back up plan (spend the rest of the trip on newly pedastaled Bali) and thought to myself - self - lets just see what happens.

After the BIG FIGHT, Vicky's Uncle said his brother, her Sinku, would take us to her grandma's grave but it would be really hot. Vicky and I decided we needed to actually get some errands done and would do that instead. I asked her to go tell her Uncle so her Sinku and grandfather wouldn't be waiting for us. She didn't and I felt ambused by being left to deliver this news and explain that we wanted to do something else instead, and delievering that news after a fight when its hard enough to say we want to do something on our own. So I did the mature thing and went and pounded on the bathroom door.

So Vicky's Sinku offered to help us run our errands, best part is he doesn't speak english. lol. What a great afternoon though. He went and picked up his sons, who are 22 and 23 and speak english, and we all ran errands together and stopped in periodically to visit other family that Vicky's Uncle didn't take us to see. The kindness of these people was incredible. They all made an effort to include me and talk to me, even though really it is Vicky they are excited to meet and learn about, she is family. I was really touched. They took us to buy currency (her Uncle told the family we had no money and so couldn't travel on our own and thats why we have to stay at his house and want to travel so cheap, kinda rude), tourist office where we learned it is indeed to travel sans family, even for girls, and they explained family is very overprotective here (it was a relief to hear from an Indonesian that it is indeed safe. The lonely planet is good and all but to hear from a local was nice) and helped us get a cell phone sorted. What an ordeal. You buy a cell phone from one booth, sim card from another and minutes from another. We then called Vicky's mom to speak to the minute shopkeeper to find out how the phone works, cost wise and dialing internationally etc. There aren't public phones here like at home so we figured a cell phone was a good option and it also helped ease some unease her family has about us travelling solo, lol.

That night I ate cowskin. Its quite nice actually. It was fried and spicy and soft, I would even eat it again. I was SO scared to eat it though, it was ordered for me. It is a food that Surakarta is known for. I am glad I did!

On Wednesday Vicky and I woke up and only her Grandpa and Granma were home so we thought yes! We are home free and can spend the day without the overprotective family. Here comes my favority overprotective family story... Her Grandma actually helped us flag a bezack...a bicycle powered carriage, like a rickshaw...and negotiated for us and sent us on our way. We should have known it was too good to be true. We made it to the tourist office where we signed up for a Batik making course the day before and were then transported to the Batik making place, which was in the back room of a Batik shop where real Batik gets made. Very cool. Oh Batik is a traditional Javanese (Indonesian) textile, so oversimplified it is dying material. Not 10 minutes after arriving there her Sinku and his son Michael walked in and proceeded to spend the next 4 hours sitting there watching us make Batik. SOOOO funny. I couldnt help but laugh, really what else is there to do?

That afternoon I finally learned why the bathrooms from the asian tourists, from when I did housekeeping in Banff one summer, were always wet. Like everywhere. Most family homes here don't have showers. They have a large raised sink, kind of, that is full of water and you stand in the middle of the bathroom and scoop the water out and pour it on yourself, like a homemade shower. It was different but definately refreshing. It was a little wierd to just splash water all over the room but all the bathrooms are tiled and tilt with a drain so it is efficent, I suppose they have been doing it for however many years :) In this climate I could get used to it, back at home in the winter though nothing beats a hot shower. Well maybe a bath. It was neat and glad to finally have the piece of that puzzle!

Then yesterday we packed up our bags and put them in the car and Vicky's Sinku and Om (another word for uncle) and Michael took us to Borobudur which is this amazing Buddist temple. I think it is actually one of the 7 wonders of the world. It was incredible. There are all these bell shaped domes and in each one is a Budda. I need to do more reasearch before, Im learning that Indonesia isn't very good at maintaining tourist sites or providing much information about them whether in English or Indonesian. So I'm not really sure why the buddas are under the bell shapes but it was very pretty. We had to walk clockwise, which I have learned I should do around all Buddist monuments and that it laid under volcanic ash until 1815. The work that went into building it was incredible.

And guess what? I am currently writing this from a hotel room (I've borrowed a computer) in Yogyakarrta and not one of Vicky's family members are around. After a little bit of a struggle we managed to break free and are all alone. I am very excited! Her Sinku and Om want us to go back on saturday, which is east and our plan is to head west so I am not sure how that makes sense but Vicky is going to talk to her mom and get her to sort it out with her brothers. YAY!

So today the plan is to relax, it is her cousin Rossi's (pronounced Rosie) who lives here's birthday and so she and a friend are headed over here we are going to sit by the pool and suntan, maybe hit up the spa and tonight go out for food and there are these two trees that you close your eyes and if you walk through them then all your hopes and dreams will come true! I hope I make it!!

Then on Saturday we are headed to Pangandaran, I think we will rent a car and driver (you can do that, it's really cool) as it is a 7-8 hour drive and its not worth it to drive ourselves yet. There are no rules and we haven't figured out the whole opposite side of the road thing. When we are in Pangandaran we will rent motorcycles/scooters and practice there, it is a small town. Spend four or five days there surfing and there are some great day trips from there to a beach and a canyon and then from there head to Batu Karas for more surfing and then up to Bandung and then back to Surakarta where we will meet Vicky's mom, dad and brother for the family reunion and then I think the plan is to head to Syngapore. So I have no idea what internet is going to be like but I will try to do a quick update anyways.

This was just supposed to be quick too...lol.

Summary: I was sad and now I'm not. I am really excited about the rest of my trip and am glad that things went the way they did in the beginning. I got to really test myself and I think I passed. I am proud of ultimately how I handled it. And hey Darel, it all works out in the end, and if it's not working out, it's not the end. Right? Right!

There is nothing quite like travelling, the art of losing and finding yourself all at the same time.

Much love to all of you!

XOXOX

Amy

Ps sorry I can't upload pictures, the connection is not very good and would take WAY too long. I will show you when I can or when I get home! Yay!